Why is there such a thing as a performance pickup truck, a cruel automotive oxymoron, thanks to ponderous curb weights and underpinnings meant to hold up under a tonne of bricks, not dance around corners with them. Or two-door, sport-utility vehicles, which provide neither sportiness nor utility.
Although Mercedes-Benz's full-size coupe is not nearly as egregious a proposition as any of the above, it has long seemed to be a "why?" vehicle.
For most of the 50-plus years that the storied German brand has been building these big two-doors, since the 1952 300 S Coupe, they have been rather obvious adaptations of perfectly comfortable and technologically advanced four-doors, but didn't really look like anything more than two-door S-Class sedans. So you'd pay more money for similar style, similarly advanced bits under the skin and less practicality: why?
The move away from this pattern started with the release of the current-generation CL in 1999, which offered a different front-end headlight treatment than the S-Class sedan and no sedan-like B-pillar behind the driver's head to visually separate front and rear seating.
Sure, the overall silhouette of the body was still similar to the big S, but at least there was a greater effort at visual differentiation. Plus there was an innovative new semi-active suspension system called Active Body Control (ABC) and bi-xenon headlamps. This was reconstructive plastic surgery done on automotive identical twins, not just heavy makeup any more.
The all-new 2007 CL arriving in showrooms in late November once again shares most major mechanical bits (engines, transmission, instrument panel) with the earlier new-for-2007 S-Class sedan. Like so many of its predecessors, it's big, at over five metres, perhaps just a tad too big for a coupe, even one in the old "grand touring" tradition, although there's an undeniable presence these large machines have on the road.
It's not the sexiness of the Bentley Continental GT or considerably more expensive Aston Martin DB9, but it's a conservative stylishness, the young MBA banker of the luxury-coupe posse.
No, what sets the CL apart is not only style, but also technological sophistication, since its many tech goodies are often optional on the S-Class. The most remarkable is the Pre-Safe brake system, which can induce up to 40 per cent of the CL's maximum brake pressure if it senses a collision is imminent, before the driver ever touches the brake pedal.
The system ties together sensors for the S-Class's Pre-Safe system, its radar-based cruise control that senses how fast vehicles ahead are approaching and the Brake Assist Plus system that flashes a warning on the windshield and through the speakers for the driver to wake up (literally or figuratively). Once the BAS Plus system warns of the impending collision, it automatically calculates the brake pressure needed to avoid the obstacle, so that pressure is instantly available once the brake pedal is pressed.
As for other drivers on the road, if you happen to find yourself on the road behind a new CL, you may want to keep a fair distance back.
The new BAS Plus feature is part of the optional Distronic Plus package, which equips the car with advanced radar sensors in the front bumper. This feature will control the CL's speed in stop-and-go highway or city traffic and is capable of bringing the car down to a smooth, controlled stop automatically, sort of a non-emergency version of BAS Plus.
Come December, an available parking assist system will become available and it will be on the S-Class within a year. Unlike the system in the Lexus LS 460, it doesn't steer for you, but uses a graphical image of your intended path to help steer you in between two parked cars.
Drive by the spot slowly, and it will first tell you if the car fits or not. Put it in reverse, and the guidelines come on as yellow lines to indicate where the car will go with the steering wheel in that position. Then just turn the steering wheel until it joins an optimal dotted path, thus changing the line to green. It works nicely when you're used to it, but would be even better if the lines could adjust while the driver is in motion.
Those aren't the only tricks in the CL's book. Mercedes-Benz is the only company to offer a fully active suspension in the industry right now and it is standard on the CL, automatically compensating for body motions when accelerating, braking or cornering. Hydraulic cylinders at each axle work hard to keep the body as level as possible, making it perhaps the most expensive way in the world to control car sickness.
Inside the cabin, the CL is as welcoming as your curved driveway after a long business trip. The centre stack is artfully designed and has a minimum of ungainly buttons. Unfortunately, one misses some of those buttons, especially the stereo preset buttons. Instead, there's the same mouse-like controller as in the S-Class, which allows stereo and advanced seat settings to be adjusted on a menu-based screen in a hooded binnacle just above the centre vents.
An artfully designed analog clock also adds an air of classic luxury, although not as much now that second-tier luxury brands such as Lincoln and Infiniti are doing the same thing.
Motivating the CL are two new engines, once again familiar from the S-Class. The standard 5.5-litre V-8 in the "base" CL produces 388 hp for a 0-100 km/h time of 5.4 seconds, a major upgrade over the 6.3-second time produced by the outgoing 302-hp CL 500.
Move up to the V-12 that comes with the CL 600, and the zero-to-highway-speed sprint is accomplished with electric-car smoothness and exotic-car pace, at 4.6 seconds.
Still, the new CL 600 is only 0.2 seconds quicker than the outgoing version, which is basically unnoticeable, so if you're unmoved by the new styling, technology or interior complexity of the new CL, there may be a better deal for you with an outgoing CL. There likely aren't many of these $190,000-plus CL 600s sitting around on dealer lots, or many of the $140,000 CL 500s for that matter. Pricing for the new models hasn't been announced yet, but likely won't stray too far from their predecessors.
So how does all this technology and power feel on the road? Like a technological marvel.
The bulk, super-comfortable ride and size of the car mentally prepares you for the car keeling over in corners, but instead its body remains level and the tires just seem to magnetically lock on the road.
The steering feel is still a touch light for a performance machine, but the seven-speed automatic does a masterful job of following your commands and it offers paddles behind the steering wheel to shift yourself.
It's hard to say whether the 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL is more or less of a "why?" car than before. There are undoubtedly some worthwhile safety innovations here, ones likely to filter down to less-expensive Mercedes-Benzes and perhaps to other cars as well, but for now reside solely with what has to be the safest coupe on the planet (assuming all the electronics work as designed).
When I asked a Mercedes-Benz engineer what exactly the CL featured that the S-Class didn't, he thought for a second, and gave a truly scientific answer: "No rear doors."
Like high heels and convertibles, buyers at this end of the market will sacrifice some practicality for style. In the end, that's why.
2007 MERCEDES-BENZ CL 550
Inside the cabin, the CL is as welcoming as your curved driveway after a long business trip.
SPECS
TYPE: Full-size luxury coupe
BASE PRICE: $145,000 (estimate)
ENGINE: 5.5-litre V-8, SOHC
TRANSMISSION: Seven-speed manumatic
DRIVE: Rear drive
HORSEPOWER/TORQUE: 388 hp/390 lb-ft
FUEL ECONOMY (litres/100 km): 14.7 city/9.1 highway (estimate); premium
ALTERNATIVES: Aston Martin V8 Vantage, Bentley Continental GT, BMW 6-Series, Porsche 911
LIKE
Stylish new body, especially with the available AMG Sport package
Handling on curvy roads is amazingly cultured and unperturbed by g forces
Power is plentiful at any rpm with the V-8 or the V-12
DON'T LIKE
Perhaps a little too civilized to allow enthusiasts to have fun
Doesn't stretch the technology envelope much past the S-Class
The COMAND mouse-like controller allows lots of options, but is not the easiest thing to use
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