Drivers, what's in your stars?

t's a New Year full of hope and potential. At this time, it's important to remember that the road is a field of chance. Fortune favours the brave and those with winter tires. In an effort to keep Globe Drive readers apprised of what the annum may hold, Road Sage presents your motoring zodiac forecast for 2010.

With which cars are you most astrologically compatible? What is your optimum cruising speed when you factor in Mars's transit through Leo? Should you have your oil changed during a full moon?

Keep your head to the sky. All will be revealed…

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): The sea goat. Like most sea goats you are over-achieving and stubborn and enjoy wearing pinstripes. In 2010, avoid turning signals. Avoid turning. Drive as straight as possible. Danger lies around the bend. During the late winter months you will be blinded by sunsets when driving west. Capricorn, use only Burger King drive-thrus, even at breakfast. Consider buying a Lexus, but then buy a Hummer.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): The water boy. In 2010, think hybrid. Buy a Prius and drive around to show everyone how ecologically friendly you are. Feel the sanctimony. That light that keeps going off on your dashboard? Look into it. Go ahead, read a book while driving. Do it. You are least likely to be cut off by a Libra.

Pisces (February 19-March 20): The fish. The zodiac sign most loaded with Omega 3. For the last decade you have been under the sway of the Andromeda constellation. Take heart! The year 2010 is the year you finally buy a van, line it with shag carpet; and install an eight track stereo full of April Wine tapes. Now drive to Cape Breton.

Aries (March 21-April 19): The most “Ram Tough” of all the signs of the zodiac. Your hooves make steering very difficult. Because of your horns no cop will ever give you a breathalyzer. Buy a Buick Lacrosse. Begin legal action against Dodge for appropriating your name.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): The bull. Beefy and dangerous. At least once a redheaded guy in a Hyundai Genesis will cut you off while merging onto the highway. Each time you will not believe this guy did that. You are most compatible with people who own cars that are worse than yours. The year 2010 will be stressful. Purchase an old Impala and take a sledgehammer to it.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): The twins. Duplicity is your middle name. You favour yellow lights. You own two cars. Sell one and then buy a Mazda MX-5 and move to California. Try acting. Land a small role on the new season of Scrubs. Meet actor Zach Braff. Be unimpressed.

Cancer (June 21-July 22): The crab. Your hard shell hides a soft narcissistic inside. Now that the Moon is in Eta Piscium it's time to admit that you don't know how to drive stick. Get ready Cancer: 2010 is the year you finally leave your house! Celebrate by leasing a Smart Car. Congratulations, you're still a loser.

Leo (July 23-August 22): The Lion. Astrology's second banana. The Andrew Ridgely of the Zodiac. Your best friend George Michael owns a Ferrari 599. All you have is an Audi Q5. Your insurance will go up for no reason. You will pay it anyway. You will take a lover who owns an Acura TSX. You will fall madly in love and be surprised by the fuel economy. Be sure to end this relationship on August 23.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): The virgin. You will be offered a lift in an Aston Martin DB9. If you take it you will need a new astrological sign.

Libra (September 23-October 22): The Scales Thing. You enjoy looking in the rearview mirror in order to judge the quality of your hair. Mars and Venus will align to cause the iPod accessory you got for Christmas (the one that is supposed to allow you to listen to your iPod through a radio channel) to be really staticky and never quite work yet function well enough so that you can't really take it back to the store. Do not hurl it from your car. You will hit a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): The Scorpion. Smallest sign in the zodiac. Thanks to Jupiter's transit through Uranus, the year 2010 is the year you stop driving slow in the middle lane of the highway. Just move over to the right lane. You can do it. While rolling up the rim you will cut your lip. If you wait until your birthday to renew your licence you will disappear.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): The Liar. While commuting, every time you wear a white shirt you will spill coffee on it. Consider brown or black shirts. Sagittarius, 2010 is the year you can get away with stealing a car. Be judicious in your selection.