Whatever happens, their attempted resurrections will be among the most eagerly anticipated events in sport.
Funny that. Spin the clock back seven or eight years and you might recall how the two were being accused of being ‘boring’ and killing the spirit of competition with the unerring monotony of their successes. They were said to have made golf and Formula One as predictable as a Status Quo chord change.
Schumacher would qualify in pole position, drive away from the lights and pass the chequered flag nearly two hours later without ever being troubled. He was brilliant. He won. We yawned.
Woods had a similar stranglehold on golf’s Majors. In that golden period from 1999 to 2003, simply handing him the green jacket or engraved trophy on the first tee could have saved a significant amount of time.
But now, they are heroes threatened by hubris. Will they succeed or fail? It’s going to be compulsive viewing either way.
Sport has certainly begun to cherish age and experience again. Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated his 68th birthday on New Year’s Eve and shows no signs of slowing up. Of his rivals in the top four, Arsene Wenger is 60, Carlo Ancelotti a mere pup at 50 while Harry Redknapp weighs in at 62.
England’s World Cup hopes, meanwhile, rest in the hands of Fabio Capello, another sexagenarian (and no, that is not a condition afflicting Woods). The 63-year-old Italian coach is essentially using the same under-achieving crop from recent tournaments,but has the knowledge and presence to coax more from them.
So England have a chance in South Africa, although we are prepared for the usual script; quarter or semi-final heartbreak.
Then there is the imminent return of Jose Mourinho in 2010. His time at Inter seems to be nearing an end and it’s just a question of where he pitches up; Manchester City? Liverpool? Wherever it is, again, we know what to expect.
We’ve seen it before. But we enjoy dressing up the past and pretending it’s new, be it in music, film or everyday life.
Our TV is nothing but a rehash of past formats and ideas, interspersed with an infuriating habit of telling us what’s ‘coming up’ or ‘after the break’. On and on it goes, to and fro, in a constant and confusing loop.
But ‘coming up next - a look back’ is what we’re going to get throughout 2010. We might as well enjoy it for the present.
Dick Barton...not so special agentIt takes one to know one, part one.
‘Most footballers are knobs,’ says Joey Barton, a brash statement that would cost him the respect of his peers, had they ever respected him in the first place.
It did, however, confirm many of the public’s preconceptions about footballers; a reputation earned thanks in no small part to the disgraceful antics of a certain ex-con called Joseph Anthony Barton.
‘Footballers are so detached from real life it’s untrue,’ he says, before trotting out the stuck record avowals about being ‘a changed man, I’ve grown up’ etc. blah,blah.
Barton concluded his Radio 4 interview by condemning fellow pros for their ostentation and blatant insensitivity to the public mood.
‘It was never about the flash cars for me, the money, or whatever people perceive to come with football,’ he said.
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